Best responses to annoying telemarketers

Telemarketers have no shame and no regards for the privacy of others. This is no. 1 worst job ever according to recent Washington poll. Instead of being angry, destroy they’re day when they call you

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died ..."

If they say they're John Doe from XY Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, etc.

This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XY Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.